Baby Connell is still around 2 pounds and measures 14.4 inches, Mama Connell is officially in her third trimester and had a dream last night that we had a baby girl - her name was Stevie and she was born with 7 teeth and Papa Connell is prefacing everything he does with ‘this better not show up in your blog!’.
It should come as no surprise that being pregnant is way different than not being pregnant. Everyday things I’ve been doing for 32 years have changed in a way I could not have imagined. For instance:
Not Pregnant: Huh, I have to go to the bathroom. There must be one at the other end of the mall – I’ll get there after The Gap.
Pregnant: I have to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW. I know I just went 2 stores ago but I need to try out every bathroom in Sherway Gardens.
Lesson Learned: When out in public be aware of where the bathrooms are and how long it will take you to get to said bathroom. Cleanliness is key but in a pinch you can go anywhere.
Not Pregnant: Little People, Big World is a great show. I can’t believe they have Little People conferences. What a wonderful world.
Pregnant: Wow, they are at the Little People conference. Who is that? Little Zack? He’s 13? (sob) 2 feet tall? (sob) Father being shipped off to Iraq? (sob)
Lesson Learned: Keep boxes of Kleenex readily available in various rooms of your home.
Not Pregnant: This is really good pizza, I think I’ll have another slice.
Pregnant: This is really good pizza, I’m so glad I ordered it when Owen was at work so I could eat the whole thing and destroy the box so he doesn’t know I didn’t save him any.
Lesson Learned: The baby loves pepperoni.
Not Pregnant: Wow, co-worker’s wife had his baby? That’s sweet. A big baby? Toddler size? That’s funny. Good for them.
Pregnant: How big was the baby? 10 pounds? (cross legs) 10 POUNDS 12 OUNCES? (uncross legs, place head between knees and breathe)
Lesson Learned: Do not ask a question if you don't want to know the answer.
Not Pregnant: It’s warm in our bedroom. I think I’ll only use a sheet. Oh, look how cute Owen is when he’s sleeping.
Pregnant: It’s too f-ing hot in here. Get these damn blankets off me. It’s so dry, I’m so thirsty, it’s like a desert. What is that noise? Is Owen snoring? Is he trying to keep me up all night? I’m gonna kick him. Dude is like a furnace. No wonder I’m so warm. What is the matter with him? Doesn’t he know I’m dying over here? ‘Oh, you’re awake? Couldn’t sleep? No, I didn’t kick you. Now that you're up, could you go get me a glass of water?’
Lesson Learned: Pregnancy is the reason God created spare bedrooms.
4 comments:
..and you wondered how I could possibly use the Johnny on the Spot in Walkerton that was strategically placed on the street corner. It doesn't matter if you're pregnant, once you've been pregnant any bathroom after that is acceptable!!! By the way, keep the kleenex on hand in ever room for the next...forever!
Love Lori
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can totally relate to the bathroom lesson. How is it possible to pee and then as soon as you are out the stall door have to pee again?
LAR
That was definitely your funniest blog EVER. Cracked me up. I love the "no, I didn't kick you" line - what a crock!
See you real soon!
Love, Aunt Maureen
my oh my, but you are really getting good at this writing. i've forgotton all about peeing so often. whatever you dont get too hot,save that for the later years when you feel you will never be cold anymore. have a good time tonite,give suzz my bestxxxxxxmom
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