To Lori - sorry I sounded so crazed when I called you, but it was a really good sale. Almost makes a girl forget she's on the pogey! Almost.
To Emma - sorry that I bought your birthday present (see above) instead of taking you shopping as promised but man are you going to love what I bought you.
To the Coach store - Would it kill you to put the prices on things? I know I can't afford it, you know I can't afford it, but how about showing me how much I can't afford it?
To the lady getting on the elevator - I know our stroller is blue and Eilish doesn't have a lot of hair but do you really think I'd dress a boy in a pink and grey striped shirt? And the stripes were thick! And her socks were pink! And she looks like a girl!
To the woman getting off the elevator - sorry I stared and continued to stare as you walked away with your stroller with one, two...TRIPLET boys. Holy shit lady. My heart, mind and uterus go out to you.
To the Asian man Eilish smiled at - she loves Asians. She's your biggest fan!
To Patty the Platypus - sorry we lost you. I didn't notice until we got to the car that you were no longer in Eilish's lap. Enjoy your new life.
To Eilish - don't throw things out of your stroller without telling Mommy first. Also? Kisses!
To Barley Cereal, Carrots & Apple sauce- sorry that Eilish hates you with a passion that burns like the sun.
To Rice Cereal & Pears - thank you for being a food Eilish likes.
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1 comment:
OMG Jenn, I love you! You are comical genius, in a pretty little package!
(Ps, the above is intended to be platonic and should not be confused with an attempt to lure you into any kind of lesbien relationship.)- Jaynie White
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