There are certain things that Owen is never going to understand – why he can’t use my salon shampoo, why I smile when watching television like the sitcom stars are my friends, how I can eat a peanut butter sandwich sans milk and why things cost what they cost. Case in point, I was telling him how expensive baby bedding was (especially the bedding I like) and he asked why we needed bedding for the crib.
And it went a little something like this:
Jen: So, you need a fitted sheet…
Owen: We already have fitted sheets.
Jen: You can’t put a queen size fitted sheet on a crib mattress. This is not the ghetto. You need a comforter…
Owen: I just brought you a brand new comforter from work. You said you loved it!
Jen: I really like the Nate Berkus (side note: Judes cannot believe he’s gay because he’s so handsome) QUEEN SIZE Comforter you brought home but it’s way too big.
Owen: (Silence)
Owen: What do you need bumper pads for?
Jen: Um, so Junior doesn’t roll into the wooden crib and suffer a concussion.
Owen: And you need special pads for that? Can’t you just put some foam around it and duct tape it?
Jen: (Red faced, hands drawn into a fist thinking that even crack whores get to buy bedding for their babies)
Owen: I’m sure your dad can put something together for the crib. I mean how long does the kid sleep in a crib anyway?
Jen: (Walking Away)
Owen: (Calling out to me)
Speaking of Owen, I recently showed him this blog and he’s threatened legal action if I’ve slandered him in any way. He’s thinking of writing his own blog called, “I don’t know why my wife doesn’t like me”.
What I'm Listening To: Sheena is a Punk Rocker - The Ramones ("She's a punk punk, punk rocker, punk punk punk rocker, punk punk rocker, punk punk punk rocker.")
5 comments:
This claimed ignorance of exactly how much things cost is going to continue until your baby has married and moved out of the house. Lloyd still doesn't understand why coats and boots that are smaller than his seem to always cost more. And "why do they have to grow out of things...don't they know how much this stuff costs?" seems to be Lloyd's mantra. Thanks for the laughs and the updates! And for the record, I don't care how fast the heartbeat was...I'm thinking boy!
Love ya Lori
Dude, I know that you know this because we've discussed it before, but I totally smile at the TV as if the characters are my friends (or boyfriends like Jim Halpert!) and Paul has no idea what that feels like. Love that you and Owen had that conversation, and that I can picture every facial expression he had while you were talking! Here comes the best dressed kid in town...
Odd that the last post I read (I started at the beginning and read through to today...yes....while at work...) talks about smiling while watching TV. I couldnt stop smiling while reading your posts. It's the perfect blend of honesty and happiness. And it's CRAZY reading about all the stuff you've gone through in 17 weeks! This website is a great idea filled with great writing, t'is on my favorites and daily morning work read now!
Also: I liked the "How I'm feeling" feature. You should bring that back.
You are sooo funny.I guess by now you have bought the bedding & your dad is probably happy he doesn't have " rig something up"! Love Aunt Pat
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