In any relationship whether it be boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, parent/child, friend/friend it's important to figure out early in the relationship how each other handles stress. For instance, when Owen is stressed, he shuts down and goes to bed. I on the other hand, rant, rave, kick, scream and cry (and wow, pregnancy is making me more of a lunatic than I usually am!).
I am capable of keeping myself up all night stressing about various things while Owen sleeps beside me - not soundly however. Owen has what I like to call "the terrors" (best said with a Newfoundland accent) and will moan and move around in his sleep when there is something on his mind.
To live with someone who handles stressful situations so unlike me has been an adjustment. It is safe to say that I inherited my father's stress management skills while Joel adopted Judes' (side note: now that Judes has Internet access she will call me on any shit I say about her so I am treading lightly. Hi Judes! Love You!) method which I usually sum up in the phrase "Joel & Mom are so laid back they should move to California." That is not to say that they don't appreciate stress or take it any less seriously than Donnie K. and I do, it's to say that sometimes the best medicine for stress is a good nights sleep.
Owen has been stressed lately and it's taken a toll on both of us. Where I want him to sit down and talk about it, he needs to decompress and think about it before he invites me in to the stressful situation because he knows that the delivery of the stress will dictate how I handle it - if that makes any sense. The bottom line is that Owen wants nothing more than my happiness and I have to learn to respect that he handles worries in a different way than I do because god knows what would happen if we were both as emotional as me.
There is nothing better in my life than when things are jiving between us. I can't believe that anyone has as much fun or as many laughs as we do. The last few weeks have been hard but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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4 comments:
Adaptation is a marriage's best friend! Amen to this ENTIRE entry. Sometimes things are rocky and tough but when its good, boy it makes you feel soooo good! Love you!
Lori
Sniff.... (Lee Ann).
Great post today - stuff we've talked about at length before, but nice to hear again.
Baby's on it's way...happy days ahead!
Wow, such wisdom in your blog today. I'm still trying to figure out how to handle the different ways Glenn and I handle stress. I pretend it's okay and will work itself out and end up with physical problems. Glenn worries things to death, analizes, re-alalizes and on the third day of this head banging decides to share. I'm all over whatever the stress was and found a way around it - then he comes along with his view and I have to totally re-do my thing. Frustrating? you bet, but we both get it in the end and that's the most important part.
I always thought it's male vs. female but your comment about Joel kind of xnays that.
In all cases, there are always brighter days ahead and looking forward to a new baby has to be right up there when it comes to bright happenings.
Chin up, girl, we'll have some fun this weekend and make you forget your worries.
Love,Aunt Maureen
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