After reading Andrea's post yesterday about Britney needing to buy panties (seriously, what is up with Mrs. Federline? You've had 2 children! Put a lid on it!), I got to thinking about body parts and what you should teach your children to call them.
There are people who think that children should call their 'privates' by their proper biological name, my husband being one of them. I on the other hand, cannot think of anything more creepy than a 3 year old boy referring to his penis, unless it's a 3 year old girl referring to her vagina. I was raised properly and came to embrace words such as: moon, cookeroonie, keenies, dickie bird etc. and grew into a (mostly) well adjusted adult - until Judes started working with a woman named 'Mai Moon' and then all maturity and decorum went out the window.
I've heard many a funny word to describe human genitalia including but not limited to: bobo's, Mary's (both Paulie Grogan originals) chow-chows, cheeseburgers etc. and when I hear those words I can't help but think all is well in the world. Who needs to use clinical terms outside of an actual clinic?
Call me old fashioned, call me an irresponsible parent-to-be, but please call it a va-jay-jay!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
24 Weeks
Baby Connell is growing rapidly, gaining about a pound since last week and is still about a foot long, Mama Connell gets freaked out when Baby Connell moves like crazy one day, and then barely moves the next day and Papa Connell misses Mama Connell when she’s in the tub.
Here is my giant belly at 24 weeks (a.k.a 6 months). Just when you think you can’t get any bigger, you do and will continue to grow every week for the next 16. No stretch marks (yet) but from what I’ve heard they sometimes appear after the babies arrived. Good times.
‘When the baby comes.’ A lot of the conversations at our house these days start with those 4 words:
When the baby comes – we should probably listen to Classical music in the car.
When the baby comes – Lucy’s days are numbered.
When the baby comes – we’re going to have to move that: couch, chair, bed, table etc.
When the baby comes – do you think we should have chips and dip for dinner?
When the baby comes – spending $100 on boots might not be such a good idea.
They say closer to your due date, your nesting instinct kicks in and if ‘they’ are right in a few weeks I’ll be cleaning like crazy and bugging Owen to clean out Junior’s room so we (he) can paint and gets things ready for the kid.
I’ve picked a few things up along my pregnancy journey, mostly cute sleepers I’ve come across while Christmas shopping. Yesterday, I bought what is by far my favourite thing – a book. But not just any book, ‘The Monster at the End of this Book – starring Lovable, Furry Old Grover’. I barely remember anything from my childhood but I remember this book. It’s not overly educational – it based around Grover being afraid of the monster at the end of the book when in the end (spoiler alert) it’s him. Owen and I do a lot of talking about what the baby will be like and I hope that he or she will have a great sense of humour and appreciate the truly silly things in life such as Grover being afraid of a monster at the end of a book. Because damn, that’s good reading!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
The Blind Leading the Blind
On Sunday, Judes and I went to Toys R Us to register for Junior's baby shower. Everything was fine up until we were given the pricing gun and sent on our way into the aisles and aisles of baby accessories. A lot of things have changed since Ma had a young one and I of course, don't know my ass from my elbow when it comes to picking strollers, playpens (now known as play yards - I guess you aren't supposed to 'pen' your child) and bathtubs. There were a lot of exchanges that went: 'what the hell is this?' and, 'Jesus, Jennifer I have no idea!'.
I've gotten some advice along the way from new mom's - buy this, don't buy that, but when it comes down to it, who knows what I'll use and what I won't. Neither Susana nor Joanne used a change table for their respective young ones but other mom's swear by them. Prince Eric didn't even like the fancy bathtub he had so Poppa Joe & Darlene had to buy him an old fashioned one.
I am getting the impression that this whole parenthood thing is trial and error. Sometimes the tub works and other times you're washing Junior in a salad bowl!
I've gotten some advice along the way from new mom's - buy this, don't buy that, but when it comes down to it, who knows what I'll use and what I won't. Neither Susana nor Joanne used a change table for their respective young ones but other mom's swear by them. Prince Eric didn't even like the fancy bathtub he had so Poppa Joe & Darlene had to buy him an old fashioned one.
I am getting the impression that this whole parenthood thing is trial and error. Sometimes the tub works and other times you're washing Junior in a salad bowl!
Friday, November 17, 2006
23 Weeks
Baby Connell is more than 11 inches long (another inch and Baby will be longer than my ruler!) and weighs just over 1 pound, Mama Connell tried to kill the family with some questionable pork and Papa Connell is afraid that Mama Connell is smooshing the baby’s face when she pokes around on her belly trying to locate Junior’s head.
Nothing new on the pregnancy front. I don’t have another doctor’s appointment until December 1st; soon thereafter I will have bi-weekly appointments as opposed to monthly. I’ve been feeling really good and sometimes forget that I’m pregnant – and I mean that in the best possible way – until Junior starts doing reno’s (trademark Lee Anne) in my belly. I have further developed my sweet tooth and spent the better part of this morning chewing on Starbursts. No wonder Junior’s building an addition in there!
Owen and I had another baby name conversation this week and I have to say, we are getting nowhere as far as girls’ names. I think it’s because we would both be shocked if Junior ended up being a boy.
The thing with Owen is, I can’t put anything past him. Dude knows me. So, if I suggest a name that I love, like Rory (which has been firmly vetoed by him) he rolls his eyes and makes a comment about naming the baby Lorelai instead and about going downstairs to watch the 6 seasons of Gilmore Girls I have on DVD. I think Rory is the cutest name going and can picture a curly haired girl in striped tights dancing around the living room. Owen said that with that scenario, we could name the kid Bertha and it’d still be cute. So Bertha Connell it is.
My last post made a couple people 'sniff' and left Judes speechless as far as leaving a comment so I just wanted to let everyone know things at the Connell house are going very well. Grandma Connell is out of the hospital and on the mend and Owen is back to his old self, that is making me pee my pants with laughter on a daily basis.
Kisses
What I'm Listening To: Jungle Love by The Time (downloaded for Andrea's boyfriend Jason Mewes)
Nothing new on the pregnancy front. I don’t have another doctor’s appointment until December 1st; soon thereafter I will have bi-weekly appointments as opposed to monthly. I’ve been feeling really good and sometimes forget that I’m pregnant – and I mean that in the best possible way – until Junior starts doing reno’s (trademark Lee Anne) in my belly. I have further developed my sweet tooth and spent the better part of this morning chewing on Starbursts. No wonder Junior’s building an addition in there!
Owen and I had another baby name conversation this week and I have to say, we are getting nowhere as far as girls’ names. I think it’s because we would both be shocked if Junior ended up being a boy.
The thing with Owen is, I can’t put anything past him. Dude knows me. So, if I suggest a name that I love, like Rory (which has been firmly vetoed by him) he rolls his eyes and makes a comment about naming the baby Lorelai instead and about going downstairs to watch the 6 seasons of Gilmore Girls I have on DVD. I think Rory is the cutest name going and can picture a curly haired girl in striped tights dancing around the living room. Owen said that with that scenario, we could name the kid Bertha and it’d still be cute. So Bertha Connell it is.
My last post made a couple people 'sniff' and left Judes speechless as far as leaving a comment so I just wanted to let everyone know things at the Connell house are going very well. Grandma Connell is out of the hospital and on the mend and Owen is back to his old self, that is making me pee my pants with laughter on a daily basis.
Kisses
What I'm Listening To: Jungle Love by The Time (downloaded for Andrea's boyfriend Jason Mewes)
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
When Mama's Happy, Everybody's Happy
In any relationship whether it be boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, parent/child, friend/friend it's important to figure out early in the relationship how each other handles stress. For instance, when Owen is stressed, he shuts down and goes to bed. I on the other hand, rant, rave, kick, scream and cry (and wow, pregnancy is making me more of a lunatic than I usually am!).
I am capable of keeping myself up all night stressing about various things while Owen sleeps beside me - not soundly however. Owen has what I like to call "the terrors" (best said with a Newfoundland accent) and will moan and move around in his sleep when there is something on his mind.
To live with someone who handles stressful situations so unlike me has been an adjustment. It is safe to say that I inherited my father's stress management skills while Joel adopted Judes' (side note: now that Judes has Internet access she will call me on any shit I say about her so I am treading lightly. Hi Judes! Love You!) method which I usually sum up in the phrase "Joel & Mom are so laid back they should move to California." That is not to say that they don't appreciate stress or take it any less seriously than Donnie K. and I do, it's to say that sometimes the best medicine for stress is a good nights sleep.
Owen has been stressed lately and it's taken a toll on both of us. Where I want him to sit down and talk about it, he needs to decompress and think about it before he invites me in to the stressful situation because he knows that the delivery of the stress will dictate how I handle it - if that makes any sense. The bottom line is that Owen wants nothing more than my happiness and I have to learn to respect that he handles worries in a different way than I do because god knows what would happen if we were both as emotional as me.
There is nothing better in my life than when things are jiving between us. I can't believe that anyone has as much fun or as many laughs as we do. The last few weeks have been hard but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I am capable of keeping myself up all night stressing about various things while Owen sleeps beside me - not soundly however. Owen has what I like to call "the terrors" (best said with a Newfoundland accent) and will moan and move around in his sleep when there is something on his mind.
To live with someone who handles stressful situations so unlike me has been an adjustment. It is safe to say that I inherited my father's stress management skills while Joel adopted Judes' (side note: now that Judes has Internet access she will call me on any shit I say about her so I am treading lightly. Hi Judes! Love You!) method which I usually sum up in the phrase "Joel & Mom are so laid back they should move to California." That is not to say that they don't appreciate stress or take it any less seriously than Donnie K. and I do, it's to say that sometimes the best medicine for stress is a good nights sleep.
Owen has been stressed lately and it's taken a toll on both of us. Where I want him to sit down and talk about it, he needs to decompress and think about it before he invites me in to the stressful situation because he knows that the delivery of the stress will dictate how I handle it - if that makes any sense. The bottom line is that Owen wants nothing more than my happiness and I have to learn to respect that he handles worries in a different way than I do because god knows what would happen if we were both as emotional as me.
There is nothing better in my life than when things are jiving between us. I can't believe that anyone has as much fun or as many laughs as we do. The last few weeks have been hard but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Friday, November 10, 2006
22 Weeks
Baby Connell is 10.9 inches and almost 1 pound, Mama Connell has the day off today and Papa Connell felt the baby move for the first time this week.
The right thing to do on my day off would be to clean a little and rest up for the Peterson/Grogan girls arrival and the shopping weekend ahead. The wrong thing to do and what I've been doing all morning is watching back-to-back episodes of A Baby Story. So far I've watched a home birth, a c-section and the birth of twins and have gone through half a box of kleenex. The home birth itself seemed to be OK but the mother ended up in an ambulance anyway after delivery because she was bleeding a lot more than they had anticipated. The c-section mommy went into surgery with a kicky scrunchie and bright red lipstick and was "really into pain management" (a woman after my own heart) and I can't remember much of the twin birth mostly because I was still crying from the previous episodes!
The baby has been moving around like crazy this week mostly when I'm seated at my desk at work or in the car. I can't keep my hands off my belly and love to feel the "hey you!" tap of Baby Connell. On Tuesday night Owen and I were watching the Rick Mercer report and Owen was talking to my belly basically making fun of my love of Rick Mercer - has to be the accent. Anyway, when Owen stopped talking the baby started moving. I quickly grabbed Owen's hand and placed it on my belly and.....nothing. He kept his hand there for a good 5 minutes before the baby started kicking again - Owen couldn't believe that's what he was feeling. It was a nice way to spend an evening.
According to the baby books, at this point Junior can hear our voices so we're trying to cut down on the cursing and I'm trying to remove the words "dude" and "man" from my vocabulary. From the amount of singing Owen and I do in the car, Junior is no doubt getting familiar with our voices and our odd taste in car music. On Monday night, he/she was witness to such classics as "Total Eclipse of the Heart", "The Rose" and plenty of Rush. None of this classical stuff for our little redneck - we'd rather Junior learn the guitar solo from "Fly by Night".
How I'm Feeling: A vacation day is always a good day.
The right thing to do on my day off would be to clean a little and rest up for the Peterson/Grogan girls arrival and the shopping weekend ahead. The wrong thing to do and what I've been doing all morning is watching back-to-back episodes of A Baby Story. So far I've watched a home birth, a c-section and the birth of twins and have gone through half a box of kleenex. The home birth itself seemed to be OK but the mother ended up in an ambulance anyway after delivery because she was bleeding a lot more than they had anticipated. The c-section mommy went into surgery with a kicky scrunchie and bright red lipstick and was "really into pain management" (a woman after my own heart) and I can't remember much of the twin birth mostly because I was still crying from the previous episodes!
The baby has been moving around like crazy this week mostly when I'm seated at my desk at work or in the car. I can't keep my hands off my belly and love to feel the "hey you!" tap of Baby Connell. On Tuesday night Owen and I were watching the Rick Mercer report and Owen was talking to my belly basically making fun of my love of Rick Mercer - has to be the accent. Anyway, when Owen stopped talking the baby started moving. I quickly grabbed Owen's hand and placed it on my belly and.....nothing. He kept his hand there for a good 5 minutes before the baby started kicking again - Owen couldn't believe that's what he was feeling. It was a nice way to spend an evening.
According to the baby books, at this point Junior can hear our voices so we're trying to cut down on the cursing and I'm trying to remove the words "dude" and "man" from my vocabulary. From the amount of singing Owen and I do in the car, Junior is no doubt getting familiar with our voices and our odd taste in car music. On Monday night, he/she was witness to such classics as "Total Eclipse of the Heart", "The Rose" and plenty of Rush. None of this classical stuff for our little redneck - we'd rather Junior learn the guitar solo from "Fly by Night".
How I'm Feeling: A vacation day is always a good day.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Things That Made Me Laugh Today - Parental Discretion Advised
- 'Magical' - what Owen said today when I asked him how he was. He wasn't having a good morning
- 'Oh, shut up' - what my English accented manager says to herself after sneezing 3 times in a row
- 'Getting on my tits' - what Judy (not to be confused with Judes) says when describing somebody getting on her nerves
- 'Kit-kat club' - what the same Judy refers to lesbians as
- 'Let the money ruin me' - I made myself laugh with this one. I bought a quick pick today for the big 649 draw and informed my lunch companions that if I won the lottery I'd become like Oprah - completly unable to deal with common folk
- 'They are the Newfies of the United States' - me again (I was on a roll today) describing the Kentucky couple from the Amazing Race, offending: Americans, Kentuckians, Newfoundlanders and myself!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Sign #3 Owen's Forgotten I'm Pregnant
After his sister gave me a pair of maternity pants: "Are you sure you'll wear those? They're so big!" Wait until he has to help me in and out of bed! Then he'll see how big I can get.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Dream a Little Dream of Me
I had a dream last night that I gave birth to a baby girl. Can't tell you what we named her because it's one of the names we have picked out but she was 7lbs 7oz., had green eyes and was very fair.
Friday, November 03, 2006
21 Weeks
Baby Connell is three quarters of a pound and 10 ½ inches long, Mama Connell is coming to the realization that she has to wear foundation to work everyday because holy cow does she look blotchy without it and Papa Connell? Well he’s been working 7 days a week these days and comes home to a crying and/or bitchy wife so pray for the old soul will ya?
It should come as no surprise that I am fully decked out in maternity clothes these days. I basically started showing at 3 months and have been wearing maternity pants since September. My birthday brought forth many Old Navy gift certificates that I spent basically on every maternity item they had to offer. I also enjoy The Bay Queen Street’s selection of clothes and haven’t had much luck at your typical maternity clothes stores like Motherhood & Thyme.
Although there are cons to having to wear maternity clothes – their pricey, not very stylish, boring colors etc. there are some pros:
It should come as no surprise that I am fully decked out in maternity clothes these days. I basically started showing at 3 months and have been wearing maternity pants since September. My birthday brought forth many Old Navy gift certificates that I spent basically on every maternity item they had to offer. I also enjoy The Bay Queen Street’s selection of clothes and haven’t had much luck at your typical maternity clothes stores like Motherhood & Thyme.
Although there are cons to having to wear maternity clothes – their pricey, not very stylish, boring colors etc. there are some pros:
- In this age of low-rise pants, it’s nice to wear something that comes right up over your belly button and ends 2 inches from your bra.
- No zippers! Maternity pants have elastic waists and panels to help you get them on and off.
- As someone who used to spend a lot of time pulling her shirt down over her belly it’s nice to have a longer top that gives the allusion of the waste I’m slowly losing.
I’ve signed up for many newsletters throughout my pregnancy and get the occasional email from Baby Center & Huggies. This week the subject was how to write your birth plan. I originally thought my birth plan could be summed up by the word “epidural” but it turns out there are way worse things to concern myself with like….um….shaving?!? and….enemas?! So needless to say, I’ve unsubscribed from these newsletters and will put my head back in the sand choosing to believe that by the time I have to give birth there will be a new, painless, hairy, enema free way to do it. To quote Aerosmith, “Dream On”.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
February 20, 2007 - March 28, 2008
If all goes well with Junior and he/she comes around his/her due date, February 20, 2007 - March 28, 2008 will be my maternity leave. Do you know how many days that is? Alot. More than a 365!
I am aware that my maternity leave will be hard work and that leaving Junior to come back to work in 2008 will be unbearable but for now let's relish in the fact that after 10 years working full time I will have 13 months off.
Relish, relish, relish.
I am aware that my maternity leave will be hard work and that leaving Junior to come back to work in 2008 will be unbearable but for now let's relish in the fact that after 10 years working full time I will have 13 months off.
Relish, relish, relish.
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