Owen: So Tony and I were talking and he was saying that Charlene (Tony's girlfriend) got presents on Easter. And then I said, Jen totally got presents at Easter.
Jen: I remember the best Easter ever, I was in Grade 5 and I got a Michael Jackson t-shirt and the Thriller album.
Owen: So then we were saying like who gets presents at Easter? It's not exactly a gift giving holiday.
- Silence -
Jen: Eilish is for sure getting presents at Easter...
Owen: Well I don't know, maybe chocolate or something small.
Jen: I'm not talking a car but she is FOR SURE getting presents at Easter. AND Valentine's Day AND Halloween.
Owen: Don't you think we should talk about stuff like this?
Jen: Listen, have you met my family? You go ahead and give her piddly little chocolate bunnies come Easter. My family will take care of the rest.
Owen: When I was growing up...
Jen: Oh lord...
Owen: Exactly, it's a religious holiday.
Jen: And the Baby Jesus would want Eilish to have presents.
Owen: I can't win this one can I?
Jen: Nope, not even close. Good try though.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Goodnight Moon
The Scene:
Eilish is fresh from her bath, naked as a jay bird with her bath towel underneath her, lying on her change table. I’m applying lotion to her clean skin and Owen is milling around, going from room to room doing whatever it is he does when I’m not bothering him to pick up towels or feed the cat.
Jen: Eilish is totally massaging her feet.
Owen: She gets that from me, I’m always massaging myself.
Jen: Now she’s moved on to her legs. Oh….huh….um….she has discovered her…um…moon. SHE IS TOTALLY PLAYING WITH HER MOON! OK, deep breath. I don’t want he to think she’s doing anything wrong.
Owen (hiding in our bedroom): Vagina! Call it a vagina!
Jen: No way, I’m calling it a moon. Eilish, that is your moon, be careful, don’t hurt yourself. That’s right baby, that’s your moon.
Owen: VAGINA!
Jen: MOON!
Owen: VAGINA!
Eilish: Wassat?
Jen: It’s your moon lover.
Owen: Come on Jen, I really think we should call it a vagina.
Jen: Why?
Owen: You don’t want her to get made fun of when she goes to school.
Jen: First, why is she talking about her moon at school and second, I called it a cookeroonie for god’s sake and I’m relatively well adjusted.
Owen: Fine.
Jen: Fine.
{Silence}
Jen: I really gotta put her diaper on, she is freaking me out.
Eilish is fresh from her bath, naked as a jay bird with her bath towel underneath her, lying on her change table. I’m applying lotion to her clean skin and Owen is milling around, going from room to room doing whatever it is he does when I’m not bothering him to pick up towels or feed the cat.
Jen: Eilish is totally massaging her feet.
Owen: She gets that from me, I’m always massaging myself.
Jen: Now she’s moved on to her legs. Oh….huh….um….she has discovered her…um…moon. SHE IS TOTALLY PLAYING WITH HER MOON! OK, deep breath. I don’t want he to think she’s doing anything wrong.
Owen (hiding in our bedroom): Vagina! Call it a vagina!
Jen: No way, I’m calling it a moon. Eilish, that is your moon, be careful, don’t hurt yourself. That’s right baby, that’s your moon.
Owen: VAGINA!
Jen: MOON!
Owen: VAGINA!
Eilish: Wassat?
Jen: It’s your moon lover.
Owen: Come on Jen, I really think we should call it a vagina.
Jen: Why?
Owen: You don’t want her to get made fun of when she goes to school.
Jen: First, why is she talking about her moon at school and second, I called it a cookeroonie for god’s sake and I’m relatively well adjusted.
Owen: Fine.
Jen: Fine.
{Silence}
Jen: I really gotta put her diaper on, she is freaking me out.
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