Bedtime - 8:30 pm
Awake Time - 7:00 am
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
K-town
Being in Kitchener with Eilish is like being torn between two lovers (feeling like a fool). Saturday through Thursday I love being at home with my little fam, laughing with Owen over the silly things Eilish does, making sure that Lucy doesn't mistaken Eilish for a giant cat treat. But, Thursdays and Fridays are a little tougher given that Owen is either working or sleeping. Those 2 days can get a little lonely when I'm not hooking up with my make shift Mommy Group. Having only Eilish to talk to can get a little frustrating given that for as cute as she is, she isn't much of a conversationalist. So lately, we've been coming to Kitchener to let the fam drool over the puddin' (tm Uncle Joel). And oh what fawning they do. Aunt Paula swears she hasn't seen a more behaved baby and everyone else thinks she's the cutest thing going. And she is.
While in Kitchener I get to do things I don't usually get to do at home when Owen's working/sleeping, like go to the bathroom without having to bring Eilish with me which is a treat for both of us! There are a lot of helping hands eager to feed and cuddle with my little girl while I do things like go to Tim Horton's or pass out on the floor from exhaustion (that happened today).
I'm hoping that this Global Warming thing really kicks in this winter so Eilish and I can continue our bi-weekly trips to K-town where it doesn't matter if I haven't showered, because nobody's looking at me!
While in Kitchener I get to do things I don't usually get to do at home when Owen's working/sleeping, like go to the bathroom without having to bring Eilish with me which is a treat for both of us! There are a lot of helping hands eager to feed and cuddle with my little girl while I do things like go to Tim Horton's or pass out on the floor from exhaustion (that happened today).
I'm hoping that this Global Warming thing really kicks in this winter so Eilish and I can continue our bi-weekly trips to K-town where it doesn't matter if I haven't showered, because nobody's looking at me!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The Needle and the Damage Done
Eilish is a whopping 9 weeks tomorrow (or 2 months yesterday - not sure when I should stop counting in weeks - if you know please leave a comment) and we celebrated by going Dr. Star and letting her jam 2 needles into my baby girl's chubby yummy thighs. More on that later. As of today, Eilish weighs 12 pounds 3 ounces, is just under 24 inches long and her head measures something that I forgot to write down but it's a good measurement, her head is growing nicely.
So the needles. We knew they were coming, it was the reason for the appointment and Owen and I decided (I had decided) that I would not be anywhere near the doctor, the baby or the needles when the time came. First the doctor answered all my "are you sure I'm not killing the baby" questions (one thing I have to start doing is making Eilish "go left". She tends to favour turning her head to the right so during tummy time which she hates I've got to start getting her to "go left" which is hilarious and necessary to ensure I don't raise a lopsided baby!) and got ready to inject my precious baby girl with horrible, horrible serum that was going to protect her in the long run but break my heart in the short run. I faced the door, Owen held the baby but didn't look directly at her (he didn't want her to associate his face with needles) and Eilish cried and cried and cried. Y'all it was freaking horrible and we have to go back in 8 weeks to do it all again.
She was a little fussy tonight but we didn't want to rush to give her Tylenol which was a good thing because it turned out the fussiness was due to excessive tiredness. I'm not against giving her medication if she's in pain or had a fever but only as a last resort. The last resort tonight was a little bottle and a little bed and hell, isn't that what everyone wants?
So the needles. We knew they were coming, it was the reason for the appointment and Owen and I decided (I had decided) that I would not be anywhere near the doctor, the baby or the needles when the time came. First the doctor answered all my "are you sure I'm not killing the baby" questions (one thing I have to start doing is making Eilish "go left". She tends to favour turning her head to the right so during tummy time which she hates I've got to start getting her to "go left" which is hilarious and necessary to ensure I don't raise a lopsided baby!) and got ready to inject my precious baby girl with horrible, horrible serum that was going to protect her in the long run but break my heart in the short run. I faced the door, Owen held the baby but didn't look directly at her (he didn't want her to associate his face with needles) and Eilish cried and cried and cried. Y'all it was freaking horrible and we have to go back in 8 weeks to do it all again.
She was a little fussy tonight but we didn't want to rush to give her Tylenol which was a good thing because it turned out the fussiness was due to excessive tiredness. I'm not against giving her medication if she's in pain or had a fever but only as a last resort. The last resort tonight was a little bottle and a little bed and hell, isn't that what everyone wants?
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to my ma, my aunts and my Nan. Today was my first ever Mother's Day and Eilish celebrated by taking a big ol' poop.
New pictures under 'Photos" for Nan Kennedy who is surely missing her little dolly.
New pictures under 'Photos" for Nan Kennedy who is surely missing her little dolly.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday (one day late) to Judes & Joanie. Check out the pictures of the festivities! A special hello to Terri Power who likes to see new pictures of Eilish - these ones are for you Terri!
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Postpartum
Yesterday I cried. Not exactly a new development, I have been averaging an emotional breakdown every couple weeks, but yesterday was different. These were tears of happiness. Eilish was cuddling into me as she is wont to do after eating and Mona Lisa & Madhatters by Elton John was playing on the radio. The song has nothing to with mothering per se but it is a very pretty song and Eilish is a very pretty baby - thus the tears - the happy tears.
I've come to the realization that I definitely suffered (suffer?) from postpartum depression in the weeks after Eilish's birth. It feels ridiculous to have the baby blues seeing as I've wanted a baby as long as I can remember and Eilish is for all accounts a pretty cool kid. She cries when hungry, when gassy or when she has a loaded diaper. She is averaging 2 feedings a night about every 5 hours so I have been getting more sleep but when you feel a wave of sadness come on, those things don't matter.
While we were out for a walk on Sunday we stumbled upon a library where I skimmed Brooke Shields book about postpartum depression. Brookey ended up going on meds and had visions of her baby hitting the wall and I certainly didn't feel that bad but I did see myself in some of the feelings she was having. I didn't want to hurt Eilish or myself but there were days where I just wanted to leave and let Owen (and his new wife!) raise Eilish. I'm very used to my independence so having a little one rely on me 24/7 is hard to get used to. Although I'm not breast feeding and anyone can feed Eilish I constantly feel like it's all on me. When Owen's feeding her I'm doing other Eilish related things - laundry, cleaning bottles etc. Lori said that this feeling doesn't ever go away. Eilish will be relying on me for the rest of her life (just as I still rely on Judes & Donnie K.) and the thought is a little daunting!
The biggest stress of motherhood was the feedings. Was she getting enough? Was she getting too much? How much spit up is OK and how much is me overfeeding her? Gripe water: to use or not to use. We've made the switch to powder formula and she's a different kid! The burps come easier, the spit up has been cut in half. I wonder if part of it is psycho somatic on my part. Is Eilish changing or am I getting more comfortable with her? A little of both maybe. We've had to use Gripe water twice since she's been on the planet and although I'm not sure it works, it sure does make her smell like she's been doing Zambuca shots with frat boys all night!
Eilish is the stuff that dreams are made of. The smiles are coming a little more frequently and the coos are in full affect. I know that she loves me and I want her to know that even though Mama cries, these days they are tears of sheer joy of what Daddy and I have made.
Besides, look at this face. Couldn't you muster up some tears of joy for this face?
I've come to the realization that I definitely suffered (suffer?) from postpartum depression in the weeks after Eilish's birth. It feels ridiculous to have the baby blues seeing as I've wanted a baby as long as I can remember and Eilish is for all accounts a pretty cool kid. She cries when hungry, when gassy or when she has a loaded diaper. She is averaging 2 feedings a night about every 5 hours so I have been getting more sleep but when you feel a wave of sadness come on, those things don't matter.
While we were out for a walk on Sunday we stumbled upon a library where I skimmed Brooke Shields book about postpartum depression. Brookey ended up going on meds and had visions of her baby hitting the wall and I certainly didn't feel that bad but I did see myself in some of the feelings she was having. I didn't want to hurt Eilish or myself but there were days where I just wanted to leave and let Owen (and his new wife!) raise Eilish. I'm very used to my independence so having a little one rely on me 24/7 is hard to get used to. Although I'm not breast feeding and anyone can feed Eilish I constantly feel like it's all on me. When Owen's feeding her I'm doing other Eilish related things - laundry, cleaning bottles etc. Lori said that this feeling doesn't ever go away. Eilish will be relying on me for the rest of her life (just as I still rely on Judes & Donnie K.) and the thought is a little daunting!
The biggest stress of motherhood was the feedings. Was she getting enough? Was she getting too much? How much spit up is OK and how much is me overfeeding her? Gripe water: to use or not to use. We've made the switch to powder formula and she's a different kid! The burps come easier, the spit up has been cut in half. I wonder if part of it is psycho somatic on my part. Is Eilish changing or am I getting more comfortable with her? A little of both maybe. We've had to use Gripe water twice since she's been on the planet and although I'm not sure it works, it sure does make her smell like she's been doing Zambuca shots with frat boys all night!
Eilish is the stuff that dreams are made of. The smiles are coming a little more frequently and the coos are in full affect. I know that she loves me and I want her to know that even though Mama cries, these days they are tears of sheer joy of what Daddy and I have made.
Besides, look at this face. Couldn't you muster up some tears of joy for this face?
Saturday, May 05, 2007
New Eilish Pictures
It's been a rough week for the (extended) Lane family. Wanna feel a little better? Check out my cute kid!
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