Monday, March 02, 2009

Intuition

Eilish is feeling a little under the weather. She was sicker yesterday than she had even been, to the point that the thermometer turned red when I put it in her ear. She is feeling much better now, that is when I call home I can hear her in the background - 'Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!'

Her temporary illness affected people in different ways. Owen was concerned and a little shocked, Donnie K. was ready to rip up the carpet (?), Joel didn't want to hear anything other than she was feeling better and Judes was saddened. My feelings were a mixture of all of the above, except for the carpet thing. I tried to explain it to Owen last night. When I looked in Eilish's eyes, I knew she was under the weather but I also knew that she was going to be OK. I truly believe that if there was something seriously wrong with her, all she needed to do was look in my eyes and I would know. This feeling pretty much sums up motherhood for me. The feeling of knowing your kid. Sure, she fell asleep in my arms and was warm to the touch but I knew, by making eye contact with her that she was going to be OK. My little birdie let me that she wasn't feeling good but that she was going to come around.

It makes me think of mothers with really sick kids. Can they look in their children's eyes and know that everything is not going to be OK? I think of Carmel with little Ronan eight years ago, weighing 1 pound 10 ounces. Could she look at him then and know that 8 years later he would make his way out of all the struggles and come out the other side a happy, healthy little boy?

You hear about mother's of children with autism who knew at a very young age that something wasn't right with their child and who fought for a proper diagnosis and a better life for their children because they received the message their child was sending them.

Eilish will grow up and her eyes will change, they will produce tears, wear eyeliner and readily accept the laugh lines her father will give her but I know that any message she needs to send me will be given through her eyes.

Intuition.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I logged in for a good laugh and got some good tears instead.
I'm with you....you just know. Everyone else can be panicking but I can right in Ryan and Emma's eyes and see turmoil or bliss. It can bring me to tears or laughter.
Love
Me

Anonymous said...

me too single tear....jfk